Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
