and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
