I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
