This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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