I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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