she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
