Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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