the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
