I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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