Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And then my night got REAL pukey
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
