Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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