I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
