I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
