Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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