Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
