Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
