Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just cut my nipple shaving
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize