he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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