a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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