honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
