i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
