I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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