My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
