U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you never un-have a 4some
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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