woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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