Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?

(972): View more from Texas

Well what did you order

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?

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