I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sarcasm needs its own font
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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