I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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