you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
