I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
