Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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