i think i have two assholes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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