this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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