I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think my moral compass just broke
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize