Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
