I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
