If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
