Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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