You're completely useless in the revolution.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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