I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
