Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
