Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I need a burrito and a hug.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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