I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
