Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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