I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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