how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
