I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Text me some of your sweat
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
