I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
