Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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