Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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