Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
