Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
