i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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