i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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