We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
