ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
