I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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