this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
