apparently the secret to your success is patron
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
