there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
