There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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