You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
